How do I interpret actions and words? Is my default to trust or distrust? In what ways does this allow me to facilitate/block trust?
I would say that my default is usually to trust people. At least depending on the situation. In most aspects, I would default to trust people. In situations that I find more risky, I probably default to distrust and self-reliance. I talk to my students a lot about how we have trust in each other and that I trust them to do the right thing. There have been a few times where kids have lied to me and we've had the conversation about how they have broken my trust in them and what are they going to do to gain it back. One of my coworkers once told me about an experience she had with a kid who just made a bone-head decision during an assembly that year. They had said something inappropriate during a very serious discussion and she pulled them out of the auditorium to talk to them. She laid it out for them straight: you have lost my trust and respect at this moment and you have lost the trust and respect of your classmates. How are you going to earn both those things back? She was very much like this with everything; if you did something wrong, you knew it and you knew you had to make it better. The student ended up coming into her room the next day and asking her if he could apologize to the whole class quick for the day beforehand to restore that trust; he did and it was a way for the student to take care of it.
I would say that depending on who I'm dealing with, my trust is easy to re-establish the first few times. In my personal life, I know when someone loses my trust, it takes a lot for me to build it back up. In my school life, it's relatively easy; but I guess, I'm dealing with 13/14 year olds, and they make bone-head decisions and need those countless opportunities to make things better to learn. I know if I don't trust someone, I typically don't share a lot of personal details with them; it's usually necessary conversation only and I won't invite them to important events and such. This allows me to kinda keep them at arms length so they can't ruin my trust further.
Wednesday, March 4, 2020
What's In A Name? - Engagement
Names are an inherent part of one's identity; they are who you are and they hold immense power. The article I read talked about the lasting impacts on pronouncing names wrong. Just the simple act of getting a students name wrong and letting it slide acts as a microagression against their culture and shows devaluation of their culture. I have been aware of this for a while and just aware at how much power knowing your students names can be. It's a way of showing them that you see them and you recognize and value who they are. I know I try to have all my students' names memorized by the end of the first week. In fact, I tell students they have a right to yell at me if I get their name wrong after the second wednesday(like 6th day of school) because I need to know them asap and I want to remember how to say it correctly.
The article talked a lot about the ability to make mistakes; languages are hard, especially pronouncing ones you don't know; but it's how to acknowledge those mistakes that hold power. If you mess up a students name occasionally it's ok as long as you say "I'm sorry" and correct yourself. If you just keep going with it or even pressure them to change their name to something easier, that's where it's really not ok.
This also matches up with Chimamanda's TED talk as well as names are a part of a student's story. I always start the year off with giving students a chance to tell me what they want me to call them. I say I will learn whatever name they give me in that first week but they need to communicate it with me. I also make it clear that I want to say their names correctly so I always double check pronunciation with them as well. Then I just quiz myself in class every day and try to use their names every time I talk to them. I'm always in the hallway in the morning and between classes greeting students by name and wishing them good morning. It's a way for me to show that I see them and they are important enough to me to learn how to say their name correctly and to wish them a good morning. A few other teachers and myself have chuckled a few times because we as a grade level have been trying to be out more in the morning and passing times and we'll say good morning to kids and most of them will say nothing in response. I kinda secretly smile at that because I've done it since the beginning of the year and I've kinda classically trained my kids to respond back to me cause I do it every morning. :) I was out sick for the last two days and I was in the hallway this morning and talking to a coworker during morning passing time. The number of kids that I had to stop talking to my coworker for a quick second to wish back good morning was outrageous lol. I wasn't even saying it to them much this morning and they were all saying it to me as they passed. I know discipline problems go down as soon as you have the names down; there's so much power in being able to know who's causing problems and acting out and to use their name during it. Again, it's that power of "I see you".
The article talked a lot about the ability to make mistakes; languages are hard, especially pronouncing ones you don't know; but it's how to acknowledge those mistakes that hold power. If you mess up a students name occasionally it's ok as long as you say "I'm sorry" and correct yourself. If you just keep going with it or even pressure them to change their name to something easier, that's where it's really not ok.
This also matches up with Chimamanda's TED talk as well as names are a part of a student's story. I always start the year off with giving students a chance to tell me what they want me to call them. I say I will learn whatever name they give me in that first week but they need to communicate it with me. I also make it clear that I want to say their names correctly so I always double check pronunciation with them as well. Then I just quiz myself in class every day and try to use their names every time I talk to them. I'm always in the hallway in the morning and between classes greeting students by name and wishing them good morning. It's a way for me to show that I see them and they are important enough to me to learn how to say their name correctly and to wish them a good morning. A few other teachers and myself have chuckled a few times because we as a grade level have been trying to be out more in the morning and passing times and we'll say good morning to kids and most of them will say nothing in response. I kinda secretly smile at that because I've done it since the beginning of the year and I've kinda classically trained my kids to respond back to me cause I do it every morning. :) I was out sick for the last two days and I was in the hallway this morning and talking to a coworker during morning passing time. The number of kids that I had to stop talking to my coworker for a quick second to wish back good morning was outrageous lol. I wasn't even saying it to them much this morning and they were all saying it to me as they passed. I know discipline problems go down as soon as you have the names down; there's so much power in being able to know who's causing problems and acting out and to use their name during it. Again, it's that power of "I see you".
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